Another Day Closer to Dying

I had my evening planned out.   Kids in bed early.  Time to get lots done.  Not how my evening went at all. 


Our seven year old was quite chatty tonight.   I have learned through many missed opportunities and closed doors to listen when a child wants to talk, so I made a choice tonight to listen.  I heard about silly things.  I heard about struggles.  I also heard about dreams.  As he got into bed, he said,  "Mom, today you are another day closer to dying."   I was taken a back by his morbid statement, and said, yes, you are right- that is one way to look at it.  I did not have the energy to dive into his comment and he seemed interested only to state it before drifting off to sleep.  To be honest, I don't know where that thought originated in my son's mind, but it has lingered in mine through the last hours.   


For one, I sabotaged an evening I could have blessed.  My husband walks in the door tired not only from his work, but also tired from coaching our sons' football league, and I let him have it because he picks up a snack on the way home.  Yes, I know it is ridiculous.  I was mad he got a snack because I made this nice dinner.  As I write, I cringe at my actions.  How silly and pathetic.  Nonetheless, I do this time and time again. 


Secondly, I have recently been convicted about how much time I spend investing in the temporary body.  I work so hard to take care of the earthly body- reading, researching, and doing that I am quick to forgo nourishing my eternal soul.


Thirdly, I see my parenting shortcomings.  I see the ways I lack in patience and kindness and a whole host of others qualities.


In my innermost being I want to live this life well.   I want to love large.  I want to repent large.  Yet, I constantly fall short and do the very thing I don't want to do....I relate to Paul's words completely.   Praise God it is not about getting it right or arriving- Jesus did that for me.  Whew! 


Tonight as I chew on my son's words, I remember how short this life truly is, so I spend time dreaming of heaven- a place where all is made right and we are with Him- the one our souls' crave.  My perspective is right for the moment.  I imagine a blank slate. Tomorrow I am given the opportunity to live as if it is my first day.  Because of Jesus, I get a fresh start.  His mercies are new each and every morning!  Praise be to our God.