Undone

Today I became undone looking at the character flaws, sin bents, and weaknesses in my children.  After an incidence this morning, I went from cheerful to solemn to angry in a matter of moments.  I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I heard the voices- you must coach your child right, you must model right, you must have the right counselors- and for too many moments I believed the lies.  I thought about my own struggles and how I cannot seem to get on top of them.  I thought about how absolutely exhausted I am of saying sorry for the same thing 100x a day.  How in the world am I going to help my children with their struggles when I cannot personally get it right? 

And then.... I heard the still small voice of the Holy Spirit bring scripture to mind and remind me to stop working so hard.  Stop striving.  Just flat out stop it. 

You know why I need to stop it?   Because I don't have to get it right.  For one, Jesus did that for me.  He lived the perfect life that I am incapable of living.  He traded his perfect record for my ragged record, so that when God sees me, he sees perfection because of Jesus.  Secondly, the battle for my heart or anyone else's heart is never met through striving.  It is met through prayer.  Lastly, Jesus is the one who sanctifies- not me or anyone else.  Sanctification is a lifelong process.  Philippians 1:6 tells us that He who began a good work in us will finish it and bring it to completion. 

One of the passages that I reflected on today was Luke 10 - Jesus' rebuke to Martha.  As I reflected on that passage, I saw myself.  I get caught up in all sorts of preparations and busyness.  I want to make sure my kiddos have a clean house, clean clothes, extracurricular activities, friendships, healthy meals, a superb education, etc.  As I do, do, do, I often forget to just enjoy them.  I also forget that my biggest role is to fight for their hearts through prayer.

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (I Peter 5:8).