Don't Settle for Easy Fault Finding

 Just yesterday a situation arose where I did the complete opposite of what I am writing about now.  I chose to think & believe the worst.  I chose judgement, complaint, and bitterness.  The Lord did not leave me alone in that mess, but pursued me through the literal dark of the night where sleep would not come and then once again this morning through the gift of alone time in a quiet house leading me to self awareness and then repentance.

I came across this verse in the quiet moments this morning and marinated on it as it was exactly what I needed.  "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer each person" (Colossians 4:6).

I got stuck on the salt part and spent time looking at the many uses of it.  Salt is actually a  multipurpose substance.  It can remove stains from the dirtiest objects, promote wellness, restoration, & safety, deter annoying creatures, and can even eliminate terrible odors  https://www.rd.com/home/cleaning-organizing/over-60-ways-to-use-salt/.  Imagine salt in our speech?!  The world would become a brighter place one conversation at a time.

In order for our speech to be seasoned with salt, we must speak with forbearance, gratitude, and compassion putting off our natural bent to be critical of another and putting on grace which is a work of the Holy Spirit within us.

To extend forbearance to someone we must not dissect the other person's motives by making a quick judgement about what was said or done when we feel wounded.  "He/she must have meant so and so.........I am just sure of it!"  Instead, we must always first offer the benefit of the doubt.  We have never walked the other person's shoes nor do we know what was meant behind the words spoken IF anything.

This morning it was brought to my attention the insanely high standards I have of others- expecting them to see and know all my tiredness, all my stresses, and all my circumstances while never struggling personally.  I want much grace at all times, but do not readily distribute that grace.  Bishop H.C. Moule has said that forbearance is “allowing for each other’s frailties and mistakes; aye, when they turn and wound you ‘in love,’ finding it easy to see with their eyes and if need be to take sides with them against yourselves!”

Are we freely granting allowances for our children, for our spouses, for our friends, for our coworkers, etc?  When someone is tired, do we give them grace when a hurtful word is spoken or do we hold it against them refusing to let it go?  When someone says something we perceive as hurtful, do we assume the best until we get clarification or do we assume the worst?

Complaining is natural especially when we feel pain, yet God calls us to more.  He calls us to live thankful lives.  I think of Kara Tippets who battled aggressive cancer openly through blogs, books, communal living, and much more.  She struggled openly, yet she asked God to help her put on thankfulness despite her horrendous circumstances.  As a result of putting on thankfulness and not allowing bitterness to sink in, she was a facilitator of change in many as she allowed God to use something so terrible for his glory.

Spewing bitterness is easy.  Speaking with compassion and kindness is not.  Just think how easy it is to mutilate a person not present with words by gossip.

Don't settle for easy fault finding.  By speaking with forbearance, gratitude, and compassion instead of judgement, complaint, and bitterness, we offer hope, forgiveness, and life to our hurting world.