Life Shattering Remaking Event (Part ONE)

 Life Shattering Remaking Event

Feb 19, 2022 I still remember vividly in color almost 3 years later. I remember the smells, what I was wearing, & what I was doing. It was one of those life shattering remaking events that will forever be etched in my mind.

The day started like normal. It was a Saturday. My sister in law had just left that morning after a sweet visit from California. Soccer games were played that afternoon. Dinner was thought for except this particular night, I was tired with much to do so I placed a doordash order for dinner while Chad was upstairs getting ready as he planned to be out with guys for a men’s night. 40 lasagnas were in process for our oldest’s fundraising casserole business for friends/ family. My son and I were right smack in the middle of making those lasagnas. Meat was going. Sauce was brewing. The cheese mixture was in the works. Our youngest who was 2 at the time was up on the counter soaking it all in. My hand was almost in reach of a dish I needed on the top shelf to make the cheese mixture when I heard what I remember as a piercing scream out of the mouth of my then 2 year old. After 12 years of mothering and going through the toddler phase 6 times, I prided myself on deciphering the meaning behind certain cries and screams. This cry seemed alarming and it jolted me.

As my hand barely tapped the dish I was in the process of reaching for, my head simultaneously turned on a swivel to check on our then 2 year old. As quickly as I noticed he was okay and just upset about something, I realized the dish I needed was teetering on the edge and about to crash. I had no time to think. I just reacted. The glass dish began to tumble through the air in slow motion and I strained to catch it or at least break its fall if my memory serves me right.

Despite my efforts, the dish shattered at a fast speed due to the height it fell from and the hard surface it hit. My right pointer finger was sliced significantly. It's truly amazing no other damage was done to me or anyone nearby. I immediately felt faint and thankfully fell into the sink to avoid blood getting everywhere and to break my fall. I felt no pain but incredible lightheadedness and dizziness.

As the ER helped me, they found not only ruptured tendons & a ruptured artery in my finger requiring surgery, but they also found significant heart issues that I had no idea about. These findings catapulted me into a darkness I remember so well I can still feel it when I think upon it.

To date, I never had anything health wise personally that was major or so I thought. My greatest complaints that I would spout off about had been childhood outdoor allergies and eczema that at the time had been in remission for 6 years. However, there were medical traumas that I had watched those I deeply loved go through as well as an epidural injury after my firstborn and a serious prescription drug reaction before I had children that remained stuffed in "closets". I had never once really dealt with those events on an emotional level since my body fully recovered from both the prescription drug reaction and epidural injury. As for the traumas of my loved ones- I just worked hard to make sure nothing like that ever happened again. These traumas were unthought knowns. They affected my daily life even though I was unaware but yet were in a sense absent from my thoughtlife. There was fruit....this hand surgery seemed magnificent. The heart medications I was being asked to take struck terror. Any medical test suggested, I had to research and protect myself from. This event opened up closet doors I didn't even know I had locked. These past traumas were not in my rear view mirror as I thought but instead very much in my day to day living.
I had a choice. I could seek healing from these past traumas or I could let these unearthed buried tramas continue to secretly control me. When there is sour fruit, the root must be sought after.

To be continued.