Child Rearing… A Mother’s Milk and Littles

One of the hard issues that I have stumbled upon being passionate about is breastfeeding.  My story, my family’s story, bad medical information that is commonly given to women or falsehoods about breastfeeding, all seem to be the threads that have led me to where I am today.  Before I share any of my story, thoughts, or experiences on the issue, I want to make it clear that I am very aware of how sensitive this topic is for moms.  I have seen very close friends try and feel so much shame because it wouldn’t come together, or friends who wanted to breastfeed who just couldn’t because of medical reasons, forced life situations, etc.  I also have friends that have no desire to breastfeed at all.  My heart in this post is not to judge or condemn, but like every other post, simply share things we have been very blessed to learn and experience in our family.  Wherever you are with this topic, I hope in some way this can be a source of encouragement and possibly something that gives some practical help in breastfeeding.   

I have always believed that mother’s milk is best, as that was what was given to me; however, my journey to give my children mother’s milk did not come easy at all for me especially the first go around.  No knowledge about breastfeeding equaled a mess for me.  My first labor was very long, 36 hours to be exact, medicated, and downright exhausting, to say the least, and nursing my newborn when he was born was the last thing on my mind.  When labor was over, I both needed and wanted a break and planned to think about nursing after a few hours of peace and quiet.  Well, truth be told, my precious newborn did not want to nurse when I wanted him to nurse and thus began our battle.  I put my first son on a rigid schedule pretty much from the start because I wanted predictability and ease primarily.  This led to a miserable baby and mother and added to my postpartum baby blues.   Apart from not knowing at all how to nurse a baby, I did not know how to teach him to sleep, so I also had a very overtired child.  Whenever I nursed, my little one thought it was a perfect time to nap, only adding to my frustration.  Nursing sessions would last almost an hour because little one nursed then slept and vice versa.  I had at most an hour break and then he was hungry again and the process started over.  I was also working part time away from home and thus pumping while away, another huge growth curve I had to learn.  Thirdly, I constantly worried about my supply, especially after the initial engorgement wore off, along with the fact that my child was not growing at the same rate of other children.  I put him through needless weight checks even though he was in fact growing and thriving following his own growth curve.  Somehow I hung in there and continued nursing due to the encouragement of my mother and the lactation lady primarily even though I swore after such and such a week, I would give up.  That week would come and go, and I would set a new goal.   Before I knew it nursing became natural, easy in fact, and that coincided with my son learning to sleep.  Our nursing sessions went from one hour to only five to ten minutes around the time that he was four months old, which should have caused me to rejoice, but instead brought fear and worry.  I now worried more than ever that he was not getting enough because the books said he should nurse for a minimum of ten minutes.  All to say, if I was not worrying about one thing, I was worrying about another! I continued to nurse him and not supplement despite my worries because even though he was small, he was thriving and growing despite his worry stricken mama.   

Hindsight is 20/20 and here a few things I have learned since baby number one and what I began putting into practice with baby number two.  Chill out!  Relax!  Enjoy!  It does get easier as there is a learning curve with both baby and mama.  Nurse a baby as soon as you can, immediately after birth.  It also helps to have an unmedicated baby, i.e. natural delivery free of drugs and epidurals.  It is very important to get as much rest as you can, which is so hard when you have other little ones, but possible.  Delegate.  Accept help when offered.  Sit on the couch.  Also, stay hydrated and well nourished.  Nurse as often as you can, especially in the first few weeks, as this gives baby what he/she needs and builds mama’s supply.  Do not worry about a schedule; it normally forms on its own.  Self-imposed schedules do not work for us.  In the same way, I do not eat at the same time every day; neither should my babies have to eat at the same time especially since breast milk is a living food and the composition changes based on the interval between feedings, how much was consumed at the last feeding, etc..  The book My Child Won’t Eat: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem by Carlos Gonzalez that is now out of print but available on Amazon was a Godsend in many ways and put feet on many of the thoughts forming in my head and the knowledge I was beginning to accumulate about breastfeeding and eating in general.  Babies and children eat a lot sometimes and sometimes don’t eat much at all and that is perfectly normal and okay.  They also have grow spurts, thus eating and growing a lot some days and weeks, and others maybe not so much.  It does not necessarily mean there is a supply issue as I had previously thought.  Breastfeeding has a lot to do with supply and demand.  Generally speaking, if a baby is allowed to nurse when hungry, the body will produce milk as it was created.  If supplementation occurs or an extremely rigid schedule is imposed, supply of breast milk goes down because the body is being told that it does not need to produce as much milk. 

 All to say, I continue to learn a lot about breastfeeding and become more passionate about it with each little one we have.   I nurse my littles till seven months roughly before introducing any food and then allow them to nurse through learning to eat. It is between 16-18 months that they normally wean. 

There is so much said about the benefits of breastfeeding, that there is no need to go there.  Kellymom.com has been a great resource for me as well as various lactation consultants and the book by Dr. Carlos Gonzalez My Child Won’t Eat: How to Prevent and Solve the Problem that I already mentioned. 

A great read: http://womanista.com/wellness/2017/02/09/why-this-photo-of-breast-milk-in-a-petri-dish-went-totally-viral/