I Am Not The Girl You Married

I am not the girl you married.

From that first date- you were different than all others I had dated or even known. In fact, you far surpassed them. You see, you treated me with utmost respect from the get go. You gave chivalry a new name. You did far more than open my doors, pay for my meals, etc. You affirmed my personhood and always had a vision for me far beyond where I actually was. You saw my unique makeup that was only a seed and envisioned a beautiful tree. You had this uncanny way of seeing me restored in areas that were broken. You saw who God was making me yet accepted me right where I was.

You spoke to me on one of those first dates about true beauty. You told me that many women are pretty and only few are beautiful as beauty comes from the inside and radiates out. You challenged me to always seek and spend my time first on inward beauty. You are a rare gem, babe, who gets beauty in this upside down world.

From that first date, I always knew it would be you and you alone. God had placed a man in my path who I wanted to do life with forever. You were not only incredibly handsome and funny, you made me want to know my Savior more. I was better when I was with you.

On that special day, 10 years ago, I said yes to you and no to all others. You see, my parents taught me loyalty well. I knew that day that I was with the man I had prayed for and God had given. However, I had no idea how hard marriage could be, the trials we would suffer through, or the beauty that would come through brokenness.

We have struggled. We have said too many words in anger. Yet, because of your leadership, we move past those ugly fights because you model repentance. Now, I too repent instead of acting as if I can do no wrong.

You have made me rich. I am so rich in friendship, so rich in family, so rich in memories, and so rich in love.

You are the chief repenter in our family and the modeler of grace. Because of you, I know Jesus more.

I found your prayer cards...prayers you have prayed for me for years. I wept because God has answered many. So many times you must have held your tongue- an act that seems impossible to do at times. What discipline you possess to shut your mouth and simply pray for me.

You play a daily role in redeeming me from my besetting sins of shyness, hardheartedness, greed, anger, and materialism just to name a few....and beauty is forthcoming. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

I am not the girl you married, I am better because of you!