Thriving and Managing During a 5 Year Season of Living Below the Poverty Line

5 years ago we stepped out in faith as my husband started a football program from scratch with the hopes of teaching young men how to be godly men.  We have an ache for fatherless children and see the damage being done when a father is not actively present in the home mentoring, enjoying, and disciplining his children. Fatherless children do not necessarily come from a single parent home. Fatherless children can come just as well from an intact home with a father who does not know how to mentor his children or defers his important role to the television or others.  This article http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=16-05-024-v shows the utter importance of fathers faithfully attending worship and the impact this very act has on his children. This article was asked to determine whether a person's religion carried through to the next generation, and if so, why, or if not, why not.  The result is mind blowing.  There is one essential factor.  The religious practice of the father of the family that, above all, determines the future attendance at or absence from church of the children.   

Prior to this career change, we had two incomes.  We made the choice when we were first married in 2005 that we would always live solely off my husband's income putting mine directly into savings, which taught us well to make wise choices with each dollar we spent by deal shopping, doing it ourselves, buying used, and going without.  Without knowing it at the time, these years of learning discipline well prepared us for our season of little.  

We made the decision that with this move across states in 2011, I would stay home fully even though our income would be cut by more than half now landing us clearly below the poverty line with a then current family of four that quickly grew to six.  Up until this point, we had been saving so that our bucket of savings was prepared: car fund for repairs, emergency fund for the unexpected, unemployment fund in case we found ourselves without work, etc.

We also quickly made additional changes. At this point, we could no longer afford traditional insurance so switched to Samaritan Ministries for healthcare which provided excellent coverage for us for under $400 at the time which I detail here and here.  We also became proactive in treating and preventing illness as we no longer could afford to go to the doctor for every sniffle.  Overtime, we switched to seeing food as medicine and medicine as food saving us tons of money as we learned how to treat minor illnesses, etc. naturally and even prevent illnesses through eating the nutrients our body truly craves.  

Then blow after blow came.  I detail our story here, here and here  . The housing crash reduced our Florida home and investment Florida home to less than half of the original value leaving us no option but to short-sale both of them as they would not sell and were states away from my husband's current job.  We ended up loosing the 20% down-payments on both and all the investment money we had in them through fixing them up.  About the same time as our  homes short-saled, many of our possessions were destroyed through a flood in an inside storage unit at a family member's house.  These events combined brought me lower than low.  Also, what was supposed to be a few month stay at a family member's home turned into three long years due to the short-sales and our income being so low. 

During this season, we were so grateful to be at this family member's home but at the same time ached for our own home. We prayed.  We cried out. We knew we were starting from ground zero and the likelihood of finding a quality home for our price range was next to impossible.  In 2014, the bank approved us for way more than we believed we could afford.  We were committed to living below the means God had given us so that we could save for the unexpected and give freely.  As a result of that decision, we decided we would not buy anything over $70,000.  We boldly prayed and my husband did his due diligence to find a house that met these qualifications.  Eventually, he found one. This home was nothing that would catch your eye in a positive way.  Overgrown weeds and bushes towered all around the home and yard.  The home had been robbed of its wiring, the heating and cooling system, and was basically bare-boned.  We ended up buying it for less than $70,000 and began the process of bringing it to life.  It was a small house for our family of 6- less than 1400 square feet, but it was home, and we were so grateful to have a place to call our own. Resurrecting this home was no small job.  It fact, it was the bane of our existence for month after month yet eventually it became beautiful and our own.   

When I reflect on this season of little and hardship, I now see the grace and goodness of the Lord. If you could have been a fly on the wall during this season, you would have seen the realness of our humanity.  We cried many a nights.  We were stressed.  We wondered how it would all work out.  We were mad.   Yet, even in the midst of the hard, we knew deep down that God's hand was on all of this gently teaching us and loving us even though it rarely if ever felt that way.  While many might say what a tragedy,  we now clearly see the past five years as a season that shaped character into our lives and taught us many immeasurable truths we are just beginning to realize.  

We learned to give with little and that giving truly is better than receiving.  

We learned that it is the people that make a home and not the stuff.  

We learned how materialistic we were and began to see the Lord strip us of this idol.  

We learned the fun of deal shopping.  

We learned to pray for any and everything even something like finding deals in a store.  

We learned how entitled we were and began to see the Lord shape contentment within us. 

We learned to cook some amazing meals (way cheaper than going out)....my husband can make some killer fish and I expanded my skills in all areas of cooking.
We learned to laugh in hard....my husband is way better at this than me!  

So how did we do it? 

I detail this here.  

We had many practical heroes that God provided. My parents helped in so many ways that it would take a book to fill.  They painted, watched our children time and time again, offered a listening ear, and so much more.  Aunt Catherine and Uncle Chris walked us through the devastation of our short-sales providing much wisdom.  Mark Wells counseled us as we bought a new home. My father and mother in law helped immensely as well.  My grandmother opened her home for three years while we waited to find a home.  Ben Creasman came alongside my husband giving up tons of time and energy to help restore the house.  Bob Brockett came up from Florida to put a fence in with Chad and a few of the other football coaches.  Mary Collins, Linda Weaver, and Dr. Case Adams were teachers of healthy living forever changing the trajectory of our lives.  Brooke and Clay Woody came alongside us to teach how to manage a family and coached me in schooling our kiddos.  There were so many others as well that gave of their time to paint, tear up old floors, etc.

During this season, I quickly learned good prices for items and would stock up when an item went on sale. Our deep freezer was such a friend!
My favorite stores: 

Aldi and Trader Joe's

Ingles (mark down meat and produce before it gets near it's sale by date allowing me to buy high quality meat and produce)

Sidewalk sale and Deal Mart- scratch and dent salvage stores 

Zaycon and Azure Standard (bulk buys that you get from the back of a truck) 

Goodwill, consignment stores, hand me downs

Trilight Herbs, Mountain Meadow Herbs, Swansons, Mountain Rose Herbs, Thrive....I would wait for a huge sale and buy in bulk 

We also learned many new trades.  

My husband learned to be a handy man in pretty much any area by spotting and/or consulting others.  

I learned to make my own tea, herbal medicines, bone broths, and garden.  

In summary, when I think about the brevity of life and when all is said and done, the image of a book comes to mind.  The only books worth reading are the books you cannot put down.  Page turning books offer adventure, hardship, recovery, and change at every corner.  When I think of some heros of the faith such as Blaise Pascal, John Knox, Martin Luther, Elizabeth Elliot, Mead McElveen, Michelle Beckman, Adam Jones, Ray Cortese, and Kara Tippets, I think of lives well lived- great page turning books.  Their lives are/were not filled with ease, but rather adventure after adventure, hardship after hardship, a pouring out after pouring out.  

The American dream is a lie!  For it is the emptying of the self that is a life well lived and brings true satisfaction and joy not the accumulation of stuff and the building up of one's self. 

In reality our season of little was actually a season of plenty when we look at it through the eyes of eternity.